Dear CEO —
I have a person on my team who just cannot stop talking in meetings.
She makes it difficult for the rest of the team to share their ideas, and we’re having long, painful, unproductive meetings as a result.
She’s not a bad person – just terrible at being concise and not aware enough to read the room.
We’ve tried coaching her on this problem, but I’m not seeing much improvement.
Ultimately I know I’m being “too polite,” but I really don’t want this to blow up into a big deal. What should I do?
— Tracey, Los Angeles
Dear Tracey —
As I read your note, all I keep thinking about is how time is money. And as I think about the unproductive time in terms of the salaries (that is…people 🙂) in the room, then from where I sit, it is already a big deal.
I’m impatient by nature, so I will always take the direct route and cut off the monologue. As soon as my internal voice starts to say “Where is this going?!” I already know where I need it to end, and I think you do, too.
That said, I know it’s not easy to tell someone to stop talking too much, much less during a meeting. It almost seems personal and rude.
But let’s set emotions aside and look at it practically. If this person’s tendency to monopolize the conversation is impeding progress and stifling others’ ability to contribute, it’s a business issue, not a personal one.
So let’s get down to business and use a few of my field-tested 1-2-3 meeting facilitation techniques to stop the filibuster.
Technique 1: You’ve heard this a thousand times, but it really does begin by having an agenda. Set an agenda. An agenda will help you more easily stop and redirect off-topic digressions by being able to refer back to your goals and what you want to accomplish by the end of the meeting.
Technique 2: Probably one of the most overlooked and yet most effective of my techniques is the establishing of “written” meeting ground rules.
Ground rules?! Yes, even I rolled my eyes the first time a coach of mine told me this. Seems a bit elementary for a group of high-powered executives to have to write out. Twenty years later and having since averaged over 1,400 group meetings any given year, you will get no more eye-rolling here.
Like any game, knowing the rules helps everyone play fairly. Write your rules out and display them prominently in every meeting. Make sure one of those rules addresses speaking time, interruptions, and respecting others’ opinions.
You’ll be surprised how often referring back to these simple rules can keep a meeting on track.
Technique 3: Be assertive as a facilitator. Remember, you are the boss. If things are going off track, step in. It’s your meeting; you have the authority and the responsibility to keep it productive.
A simple “Let’s hear from others on this topic” can do wonders. It’s hard enough to get some people to speak up without a chatty conversation dominator. (Which is a whole other topic for another day.)
Tracey, don’t worry about being polite. This is about effectiveness, productivity, and respect for everyone’s time. It’s not personal; it’s business. And sometimes, business requires us to have uncomfortable moments and make tough decisions.
Stay strong, stay focused, and now let’s get back to work!
Sincerely,
